…ding…¶

A lot has happened via dialogue and cutscene, but to recap; Cloud is gone, Sephiroth called Meteor, and you’re now in Junon, where Rufus has mobilized Shinra to fight the Weapons that activated to protect the planet. Unfortunately, they’re not very bright beasts, and since they can’t get to Sephiroth, they’ve contented themselves with destroying humanity.

Talk to Barret and Rufus will show up, Machiavellian as always, and make an unwelcome announcement. For the first time in the game you’ll end up playing Barret, although unfortunately all you can do for now is follow the guard escorting him and Tifa. In the second screen you reach as Barret, save your game and take all the good gear off Tifa (her Materia, a Ribbon if she’s wearing one) and make sure Barret is well-equipped. Once done, follow the guard to a press room, where Scarlet will give a candid speech to the gathered members of the press, then she’ll roughly treat Tifa, who she seems to have an innate dislike for. Unfortunately for Scarlet, an unexpected attack occurs, and one of the members of the press isn’t who they appear to be.

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Rufus decides to make the best out of a bad situation and use the party as scapegoats (left). When Sapphire Weapon attacks, Tifa finds herself in a dire predicament (right).

Sapphire Weapon Attacks!¶

Defeat a pair of “Attack Squad” soldiers with Barret and Cait Sith, then after the battle make sure Cait Sith is equipped with up-to-date arms, armor, and Materia, if necessary. As Barret, search the door to the execution chamber, after which Weapon will attack Junon, with dire consequences for Tifa. Fortunately for Shinra, creatures like Weapon exist, and are willing to pull a frontal assault on Junon, otherwise this huge military installation might have seemed - to a rational person - like a waste of money.

After Barret gives up, head over to Cait Sith and talk to him, then leave the room. Scarlet will continue to be… ah… you know, and Cait Sith will suggest a change in plans. Head south-east and exit the hallway to reach a street under the Junon Cannon, then run towards the camera and talk to the reporter, who happens to be Yuffie in disguise. Any help is welcome at this point, so be sure to equip her before you carry on. Exit the screen to reach the airport, then activate the elevator and head towards the Highwind to the east, under which Barret will make his last stand.

The Epic Slap Fight¶

You’re now back in control of Tifa who is in an unfortunately predicament now that Weapon’s attack has released the gas, and Scarlet is doing everything in her power to ensure the execution goes off. Fortunately, Shinra’s incompetence strikes again, and in typical goon fashion, the guard dropped the key as he left the room. A trained martial artist like Tifa has to be pretty flexible, right?

To get the key hit the [X] button ([CANCEL on PC) twice to get Tifa to drag the key over to her, then hit [Triangle] ([MENU]) to get her to sit up. Once done, press [Triangle] and [X] at the same time to get Tifa to put the key in her mouth. Once the key is in… cheek, press either [Triangle] and [Circle] ({OK]) or [Triangle] and [Square] ([SWITCH]) to unlock one of her arms, left and right, respectively. Lastly, just press the button corresponding to whatever arm you freed and Tifa will use the key to unlock her other arm. Don’t worry about a time limit as you do this, the developers realized this would be an incredibly lame way to die, so it’s not an issue. Press the glowing button near the chair to stop the gas, then try to open the door. In another stroke of luck, Sapphire Weapon will get into a spitting contest with the Junon Cannon (which it loses) and in the process it’ll provide Tifa with a means of egress, which she takes, despite Scarlet’s objection.

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If you recruited her earlier, you’ll find Yuffie following Cait Sith’s lead by playing as a reporter (left). At the end of the Sister Ray, Scarlet and Tifa engage in an epic slap fight! (right)

Climb down the tower and Scarlet will sic some Shinra goons on you, one of which falls off the structure. Yeah, got it, Shinra soldiers are incompetent klutzes. Continue climbing and Tifa will take a dive of her own, but fortunately falling several stories onto steel doesn’t hurt her. Because ninja skills, or something. Run north-west along the length of the cannon, where Scarlet, despite being in a high-cut dress and heels, will manage to catch you. Engage in an epic slap-fight with Scarlet (why doesn’t Tifa just use her martial arts training to destroy her?) after which she’ll bring in some backup. Unfortunately for Scarlet’s homicidal ambitions, rescue comes from an unlikely direction.