A book of humourous anecdotes. Lore Books

Description

Gold decorated book in red leather. Rosa Ruthard asked me to bring her this book from the Maleshov fortress.

Text

Book of Anecdotes
slightly humorous

Wedding toast
Unfortunately, I don’t know the bride, so I can’t congratulate her groom. And knowing the groom too well, neither can I congratulate the bride.

On Innocence
A young man tenderly embraces his beloved and asks, ‘Am I your first lover by any chance?’ ‘Could be,’ she replies. ‘I thought I’d seen you somewhere before.’

Thinking is Not Knowing
A certain Kuttenberg gentleman once visited an old charlatan and wanted to know his fate. The charlatan examined his palm carefully and said to him, ‘I see you are the father of two children…’ ‘You’re mistaken,’ he shook his head. ‘I am the father of three children!’ ‘It is you who are mistaken!’ smiled the charlatan.

Repent, Adam’s Gender
A. von Wallenstein and Raimund R. Hardt on men and women
As many, and men in particular, will gladly testify, of the two genders, it is the female that is imperfect, prone to all manner of sins and faults. It is an old known truth that the testimony of many is a credible testimony, the truth of which cannot be doubted. But who hath appointed the woman her lot? God? Or man? Who has decreed that woman is incapable of thinking, acting and deciding without the guidance of man?
By whom was it determined that women were too foolish and vice-ridden to participate in matters wholly male - politics, science, or the liberal arts? Is such a resolution supported by experience or evidence? After all, no one has ever given a woman the opportunity to demonstrate the necessary judgement and wit. We have only conveniently condemned it as inadequate and have made this judgement an established truth which no one dares to question.
We have witnessed many injuries to the daughters of Eve, and therefore may, or rather must, testify that the world is unjustly ordered in this respect. Men are fond of exalting themselves above women and attributing all sorts of wrongs to them, but only to cover their own faults!
A man who accuses a woman of vice has squandered his own youth in licentiousness. In old age, these men recall with regret the sins of their past life without ever repenting of them. It is out of this bitterness that they denounce women, in order to humiliate and vilify them in the minds of all who are willing to listen to them. These corrupt old men are like incurable leprosy.
But even more than women, men prefer to elevate themselves above other men. For example, they claim that husbands who listen to their wives’ advice are fools and deserve ridicule. But we say that a man who has a wife who is sensible and wise, and refuses to listen to her, is twice as foolish!

The Gravedigger’s Jest
What do you call a woman who knows exactly where her husband is every night? A widow.

On the Wisdom of the Elders
A father says to his son on his wedding day, ‘Remember, son, that a newlywed woman loves well and cooks badly. But wait a few years and it will be just the opposite.’